Do Not Worry

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So as many of you are aware, I shaved my head on Tuesday. I have had several people ask if I am okay with this decision and as I have shared with each of them, it was easier to shave it then it was to watch it all fall out. It started falling out last Friday and I waited as long as I could thinking maybe it would just thin out and be done. When I took a shower on Tuesday, I had to make myself get out because I literally could have stayed in there all day and pulled every strand out of my head. It just kept coming 😦 That was when I made the decision to just shave it already.

So Tuesday night I tried on all four of my wigs and decided which one I liked best. I had a fashion show via Skype with my aunt and uncle and they ranked each of them as well! I haven’t actually worn any of them yet but I have been trying out all of my bandanas that my friend Mallorie sent me. It’s fun trying to coordinate them to match my sweats outfits and they are really comfortable too!

Since my blood counts were low last week, I have been staying home and not going anywhere where there are lots of people. This has started to make me very stir crazy! I mean there is only so much you can do within the boundaries of your own home. I have done my bible study, watched home videos, watched movies, pinned on Pinterest, been on Facebook, written thank-you notes, worked on a puzzle, done a word search, ate snacks, and taken naps occasionally. Needless to say, I am getting BORED!

I called my nurse today to see if there was more that I could be doing without getting an infection. She told me that basically I needed to avoid sick people, avoid hand contact with things that a lot of people touch, and wear a mask if my counts are low. So basically I can go to the movies, go out to eat, go to church, go shopping, etc. as long as I am careful and wash my hands often. However, I do have to avoid Will right now because he is currently sick and this is hard for me 😦

All in all, this week has been pretty good. My stomach has hurt from time to time but fortunately that doesn’t seem to last the whole day. I have had several visitors so that has been fun! Tuesday night Will’s sister Ashley stopped by, Wednesday night my friends Emily and Brian Warwick came over, and then last night my roommate Caitlin, sorority sister Christa, and Will’s mom Jennie  came by to see me! It’s so fun to get to visit with people and laugh a little!

This weekend my mom’s twin and her family are coming to visit me! They will be here late this evening and stay until Sunday. I am not sure what we are going to do but I’m sure it will be a good time. It’s always nice to have other people around and keep my mind off things. I tend to worry a little too much when I am just sitting at home doing my everyday things.

Speaking of worrying, last night we watched our Beth Moore video for our bible study and it was all about giving your insecurities up to God. She was stating how we as humans have a desire to be full and therefore when we feel empty we often turn to other things (relationships, drugs, internet addictions, etc.) in order to achieve a sense of fullness. These worldly things fail us and leave us with the same feeling of emptiness. We are to turn our insecurities over to God and not worry about anything, for worrying is a lack of faith. Matthew 6:34 states “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” This is a downfall of mine, especially now, and therefore I am going to make it a daily goal to turn all my worries and insecurities over to Him.

I am thinking about starting an online bible study via Skype. It would be for any woman who wants to join, wherever you are. Skype now offers a group chat for up to 10 people for only $5 a month. However, we could have more than 10 people if people would group together at one person’s house in each town. So far we have talked about doing a Beth Moore study where each individual would watch the video on their own time and then we could meet every two weeks to discuss what we watched. If you have participated in Beth Moore studies before, you know that they are pretty intense. However, you wouldn’t have to do the weekly homework in order to participate. The video would just be our discussion point. Let me know what you think and if you would be willing to participate.

Once again, I thank you all for your overwhelming kindness. I truly believe that God is using each of you to show me His love and grace during this time. It was no coincidence that on Tuesday when I shaved my head, I also received 4 packages in the mail. I am so blessed to have such wonderful friends and family. I ask that you continue to pray as I am approaching another chemotherapy appointment next week, that I will continue to gain strength and that the drugs will kill the cancer cells but not make me really sick.

2 responses »

  1. Dear Brittany,
    Your latest blog came at a special time on my Friday night. Another special person I was very blessed to know (ask your dad) died in Dec. after a long, wonderful life. i missed her funeral. However her son sent me a copy of her funeral book and transcript of the service. It came in Friday’s mail at work but I saved it to read until I got home. In reading I discovered my friend of 30 years was even more wonderful than i realized. Your blog came right as I was reading and sharing memories of my friend with my mom who comes for sleepovers on Friday nights. So I asked her if she wanted to read your blog. Mom commented how blessed I was to know 2 such obviously special and Godly women! How right she is. You and your blog are blessings to so many even those you do not know. I’m sorry you are understandly BORED. The only thing I can think of to fix that is a cute cuddly kitten (don’t mention that to your dad or Cooper) but I will settle for trying out my new chicken spagetti recipe and bring you some. Thanks for the photo gallery. Your scarf looks great on you and Will is really CUTE! He kind of looks like my favorite NASCAR driver. I’m smiling as I send you this. I hope it makes you smile too! All my prayers Brittany…Terry Wagner

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