Pure Exhaustion

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Although the days have progressively gotten better since my treatment, I have still been really exhausted. It seems like I can barely wake up in the morning, eat breakfast, take my medications, and get dressed and then I am completely exhausted. I would say that trying to figure out which medications to take to balance my long list of symptoms has been the most difficult part.

Yesterday my family and I went to OKC to look for a wig. I can’t say that I was really looking forward to this adventure. Not only was I dreading the trip due to how exhausting it would be, but I also was nervous about picking out my future hair for the next 6 months. We had a list of about 4 different places to check out but luckily the first place we went had just what we were looking for. I found TWO wigs that I liked. Both of them were really close to my hair color and length. One was straight and the other had some curl to it. We got them both! We also picked out some hats and scarves that are really soft and comfortable. We then went to Academy so that I could get some more sweats to wear since I am basically living in those right now. All in all it was a productive day!

The hardest part about yesterday was that my boyfriend’s nephew had a birthday party and most of his family would be attending. I love his family dearly and hardly ever miss a birthday party. However, I was told to stay away from small children after my treatments due to the sickness that they are likely to carry. This is so hard because I love children, especially Will’s nieces and nephews. It was a difficult decision to make not to go, but I had to remind myself that this is only temporary and I had better do what’s best for my health.

Other than the exhaustion and fatigue, the only thing that has really been bothering me is some pretty intense jaw pain. I am not sure what is causing this but it makes it hard to eat and sometimes even have a conversation. Tylenol doesn’t seem to take care of it so I will have to call my doctor again tomorrow. Thankfully, I seem to have the nausea under control for now.

My grandma (better known as “Nanny”), is on her way down here to stay with me for a whole month! I couldn’t be more excited! Her and I have been close ever since I was born. She watched me every day from the day my mom went back to work after having me until I was old enough to stay on my own. She is very special to me and I can’t imagine having anyone else here to spend these days with me other than her.

Since I had to take some time off school right now to finish my treatments, I don’t have a lot going on each day. Assuming I continue to feel better every day, my plan is to study for my board exam and take a walk every day. I know it is important to keep my mind and body strong while going through all of this. I am sure Nanny will have many other things planned for us to do as well.

Once again I want to thank you all for your continued prayers, text messages, cards, and other messages of love you have given me these past few weeks. I ask for your continued prayers that I continue to get stronger each day so that I can be prepared for my next chemotherapy treatment on February 15. God is good and I know that he will continue to provide.

A friend of mine gave me a devotion book yesterday called “Jesus Calling.” I had recently heard of how great these devotions were but didn’t realize how much encouragement they can actually provide until I began reading it. The one I read this morning started out “Seek my face, and you will find not only My presence but My peace.” The focus of this passage was to let God be in control of your thoughts and He will give you the peace you need. This is so important when going through something like this because it is very easy to get down and think negative thoughts.

I want to leave you with one of my favorite scriptures that I have been reading frequently from Phillipians 4:6-7. It says “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace which surpasses all comprehension will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” God bless you all!

3 responses »

  1. You continue to be in our prayers throughout the day. We love you. Keep holding strong to your faith. I am looking forward to seeing you this weekend! Love you!

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